@AmyKocur

Music Note: Of Monsters and Men

2012-01-14T08:35:00.000-05:00

One-sentence review: Of Monsters and Men are the lovechildof Arcade Fire and Mumford and Sons. “LittleTalks” is a brilliant track, check ‘em out.

Personal Space: Reverb11

2011-12-02T09:46:00.000-05:00

The gist I am getting around the -gag- blogosphere is that last year's 'official' Reverb10 spearheads have stepped down. So I'm following whatever Geekin' Hard is following. I'm trying to end 2011 with as much gusto and motivation as humanly possibly, I mean if next year really is our last I have to start doin' something, eh? (Note: I don't think next year will be our last, I believer far too much in Ray Kurzweil to believe in the Mayans.) On that -aha- note, here's day 1 and 2:

I. One Word. Encapsulate the year 2011 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2012 for you? If you did Reverb10 then bonus points for also re-posting your 2011 word from last year along with how you feel about that in retrospect.

My ‘word’ of 2011 is follow-through. I stumbled into some large changes at the end of 2010 that required some real sorting out through much of this year. If I didn’t finish the first component, I couldn’t keep working on the second and I wouldn’t have been able to start a new directive. These changes were for the better and my life keeps growing stronger because of the steps I’ve taken, but all of this progress is dependent on my follow-through.

This is important because next year I would love for my word to be ‘expansion’. My world feels really small right now, focusing on such singular projects. I would love to move in some new directions in 2012, artistically, educationally, socially. I always have similar New Year’s Resolutions – write more, act more, try 5 new things. I’m hoping this year I can keep growing personally and really get out there and experience more of and contribute more to Washington, DC.

II. My Children Will Do it Differently - If you could choose one thing that your children will door experience in a different way than you have, what would it be and why?

I would want my children to both do and experience the finding and exploring of their dreams differently. I would imagine a lot of parents want this for their kids. I have spent (and still do) years dilly-dallying around the things I love to do instead of really getting in there and finding out if each individual one is something I’d want to pursue to the career level. That, and, as a supplement, emotional support and the joy of learning.

One Sentence Review: Lana Del Ray

2011-09-30T16:15:00.001-04:00

The indie Angelina Jolie who sings Belinda Carlisle lyrics.

One Sentence Review: Andrew Jackson Jihad

2011-09-30T14:46:00.001-04:00

If 'Say Anything' (Max Bemis) was actually as clever as he thinks he is.

Social Analysis Minute: Feminism-Super Gloss

2011-09-30T12:42:00.001-04:00

The two movies I've seen in theaters recently couldn't be further from each other in plot: Iranian lesbians and African American maid/slaves. However, they share one, sort of gross, quality in common: a hyper-glossy white-wash (no pun) quality that really mires the gravity of the topics at hand.

Are we making oppression palatable?

Both movies were upsetting (to me) despite their enjoyability. Both are beautiful visually despite their devastating topics. I don't think this is okay, but where is the line of "responsibility" for a movie to teach versus entertain? Is it good that these topics are being aired out for discussion and an easy approach or does it dilute the travesties enacted toward females and cultures and races so much that we forget that it's a big fucking problem??

The novel The Help is FICTION (defined: Invention or fabrication as opposed to fact).
The movie Circumstance was filmed in an alternate country without disclosing the actual subject matter. Actresses lied to authorities when filming an erotic fantasy scene, inventing boyfriends. All of the kissing occurs indoors.

Is it irresponsible to make fluff when the realities of the society you're commenting on are so different? Even with The Help, where America's racial disparity is still present and affecting societal governing? I think it is irresponsible, if you want to produce fluff make a show like Glee, if you want to make social commentary don't use Bonnie Tyler (even though I adored the Total Eclipse of the Heart scene in Circumstance).

Please let me know what you think and retweet/re-link! Thank you.

Personal Space: Star-Chested Scenesters (2004)

2011-09-23T13:23:00.001-04:00

Sara wanted me to post this, I wrote it in 2004, posted here for your amusement:

STAR-CHESTED SCENESTERS

In a land called New Jersey all the scenesters do live,
whether you’re Indie, an Emo, a Punk or a Skin.
In the mid - 1990s some kids formed a band,
Catch 22 was the best pop-ska of the land.
The kids skanked themselves silly in fun circle pits.
“Keasby Nights” had the scenesters yelling lyrics in fits.
From Birch Hill to Krome Catch tooted their horns.
But from inside the group there was nothing but scorn.
“It’s artistic differences!,” Tom tried to be civil.
“Fuck that,” the bassist said, and went right back to Sayerville.
Pissed off and vengeful one member went for some ink.
He knew what he’d get and what the scenesters would think -
They'd go to the parlor and get similar tattoos.
“Lost in a Crowd” would come out and be totally cool.
Nautical stars near his clavicle he boasted with pride,
But the skeptical scenesters glared through narrow-slit eyes.

“You're in for wrong reasons. We love music not fads.”
The rest didn't care, but the vocalist was mad.
Catch 22 was scene-famous, fan-girls still cheered,
But band members were leaving, without ink, and they jeered.
The tattoo-free members were quickly replaced.
Fame overrides talent when a band is two-faced.
By 2003 no one knew what to do.
Catch kept on changing but had nothing new.
By the time Dinosaur Sounds dropped there was the highest demand.
Too bad it was watered-down, generic, and bland.
"What happened to ska? Where'd the instruments go??"
"We wanted to be popular, like Benji and Joel."
The new album was decent, but it lacked that Catch style.
The sound it was lost, another disc in the pile.
Quickly after the let-down a new album release!
"Streetlight Manifesto!?," all the scenesters whispered, discreet,
"Will it be good? Is it worth putting my stock in?"
The image conscious were wary, while the open-minded were rockin'.
I gave it a whirl and popped in the disc,
So this is where the horn section went, they're making good shit!"

The difference in quality is great and alarming.
The skeptical should know that the sound is quite charming.
It's not in the name, it's the trumpets that flourish,
cuz enjoyable pop-ska really does nourish.
In this copycat scene it's great to have brass in the mix.
Though it may never be cool to wear checkerboard kicks.
Those star-chested scenesters have forced a divide;
by sticking with "Catch 22" the talent they hide –
Away in a new name as music evolves.
But sadly for scenesters tattoos never dissolve.

The Designery: Work Ink

2011-08-06T12:40:00.001-04:00

Johnny the Homicidal Maniac (drew from reference, copyright Jhonen Vasquez), "Monster Baby" and "Night Flight". Sharpie Pen.

Music Note: Deep Elm Free album LES SAGES

2011-07-27T19:27:00.001-04:00

At first, the dominant vocal was grating and disorienting. By track 3 I am mesmerized. The jury's still out as I'm currently sinking into this moody, percussive angst-fest. But the point is if you Like Deep Elm Records on Facebook you gain access to a free album each Wed. I highly recommend. Deep Elm is a phenomenally underrated label that prides itself on unapologetic melodic rock.

<p>&amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;a href="http://deepelmdigital.com/album/share-this"&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;Share This by Les Sages&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;gt;</p>

One-sentence review: Atari Teenage Riot

2011-07-27T18:30:00.003-04:00

If Mindless Self Indulgence and Rage Against the Machine had a baby (both in name and in sound) it would be ATR. VIDEO: "Black Flags"

Social Analysis Minute: American University Social Learning Summit 2011

2011-04-04T20:24:00.009-04:00

AmyKocur Intake: backwall, speaker panel, own thoughts, coffee Output: note taking, tweeting, plans. Constantly cycling mutitasking brainmeats #SLS11

My first, blaring thought was OVER-STIMULATION!

There were 8 people talking at me; the audience vying for attention via the Tweet-wall backdrop with letters dripping down the screen; I was trying to caffeinate; I was trying to form coherent thoughts; I was trying to listen. At first, I was blown away by how dynamic this summit was, how they expected me to absorb anything at all, never mind everything being thrown at me.

But the brain adjusts.

Babies brains are forming differently due to the influx of stimuli.

Students are learning and engaging differently in and out of the classroom due to the over-abundance of tools to do so.

I don't even want to adapt to the Wii version of Mario Kart.

Not adapting is no longer an option.

The American University Social Media Club hosted a 2 day summit on the evolution of learning through the use of social media.

AU_SMCEDU Top 7 words in the #SLS11 word cloud: "#SLS11" "@AU_SMCEDU" "social" "media" "will" "world" "change". That's deep.http://twitpic.com/4gyohc

The biggest themes I took away were:

The unifying element of social media.

The importance of substance behind your efforts. (to combat the ADD)

Utilization of social media is a form of power currency.

Now, while I gather my notes on the panels I'd like to delve deeper into, and prep for getting back into the blogging swing, I'd like to continue to sink into the community vibe of the whole affair and share someone else's well-organized take on things:

daryncambridge My blog on select #sls11 panels. Key tweets from our "communal note taking." - http://ow.ly/4sWUS @TechChange @alexpriest@AU_SMCEDU @talan

After all, as @AU_SMCEDU's slogan says,

Music Note: My Top 5 930 club shows.

2011-01-13T23:09:00.003-05:00

The problem with combining heavy show-going with the heavy-drinking that goes along with your college years is bad recall. At first I had difficulty coming up with this list, I didn't want to list 'moments' because I don't name-drop and some things, like those I don't want to share with the public, are still sacred. Besides, it's all about the music, right?

So here are my top five 930club shows:

5. AMERICAN HI-FI/ PHANTOM PLANET (fall 2001)
This was my first show at the club. I dragged my roommate along because I had no one to go with but was seriously lacking something in my first couple months at UMD, and that was live music. I didn't know Phantom Planet at the time but immediately recognized Jason Schwartzman which began a weird trend of running into actors whom I didn't know were in bands at 930. American Hi-Fi was dime-a-dozen pop-punk but it was a great time all the same. I sang along, got the sticker that's still firmly on my black box trunk autographed and hopelessly fell for Alex Greenwald along with the rest of the ladies in the room.

4. BADFISH (2002)
One of the number one gratitudes I receive from concert-going is the sing-a-long. A whole room of people singing in unison is one of the most incredible, energy-filled experiences I know. You knew Badfish was going to be a fun show. But the encore consisting of the entire venue, excluding the singer, singing Santeria at the top of their lungs was powerful, heartwarming and really emphasized the role of music in people's lives. Most of us couldn't be bothered to remember what we did yesterday but those lyrics, as is the emotion from that room, are burned in our mind. (Pun.)

3. GET UP KIDS (Nov. 2, 2009)
I'm including this one because they're one of my favorite bands of all times. They've had varied levels of popularity and while they were never huge they could definitely crowd the club. But there I stood, against the barricade, gazing at Matt Pryor, analyzing James Dewees, admiring the lot of them. And I included this, pointedly, to note how accessible and personable the venue is despite it's size. For all I knew (after the drunk girl left after Kevin Devine's set), it was just me and the band in that room. And for a multi-level venue to accomplish that sort of intimacy is admirable in and of itself.
Aside from that, I was really impressed with Devine's set and I felt fully overwhelmed by the getupkids love I so badly needed at that moment in life.

2. BRIGHT EYES (Sept. 22, 2002)
I go to shows alone a lot. I also haven't been exposed to as much diverse music as a lot of people with a barrel of music snob friends, I mean 'musically educated people'. So because of this, at 19, this Bright Eyes show ended up being one of the most spectacular things I had/ have ever seen. It was the start of the 'Lifted' tour, and I have never seen him play with this extent of a backing band again, it was incredible. Multiple drum kits. Swelling sounds and instruments I'd never seen on stage combined with all the heart-wrenching tunes I'd latched onto so feverishly over the summer. It was like that scene in Stand By Me when Wil Wheaton's character sees the deer, it was just overpowering and impossible to express afterwards.

1. JIMMY EAT WORLD - CLARITY TOUR (Feb 24, 2009)
I dropped out of UMD in 2003. I spent much of that sophomore year walking back and forth between campus and the house I was rooming in near the Village Pump. I spent more of that year encased in a self-seeking angst contemplating the world, very nicely soundtracked by the Clarity album. I left Maryland for New Jersey. I returned to Maryland, in part, to be with a boy who also loved this album and I cried in his place behind the Perk (r.i.p.) when Jim Adkins asked, "Do you still feel the butterflies," because I didn't know what I felt. I ended up at the Clarity tour with old friends, in a 'place where it all began' and I really sunk into the "dancing in plastic shake-up snow" that is life.

Now that that emo-rant is done... I do want to include just *one* little 'moment' that is a favorite of mine from the venue. With my height and baby-face, I don't exactly look my age and my ID has been questioned much in the past and even this story dates back a few years. But it's one of the coolest things that's happened to me at a venue.
I was going into the 930 Club and the guy checking IDs was eyeballing me and mine and was really hesitant to let me in. I didn't really know what I was going to do if he questioned me further, not having a credit card and being without transportation. ID-guy doesn't know what to do so he hands it back to Josh. The famous (locally speaking) Josh Burdette goes, "Hey, move over." and motions me to the side. He gives me a once over and checks out my footwear. He notices the 4" platforms I'm wearing then looks back to the ID, presumably to check my height. In I go.
That dude is thorough.

Personal Space: Reverb10 today

2010-12-07T22:10:00.001-05:00

PROMPT: Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011?

I have found a group of people, largely women, who are focused on cultivating their honesty and spirituality. For many years I have gotten away from both. I have gotten so much from the past couple of months with them and I look forward to deepening my connection to and involvement with this community in the upcoming year. Through family medical crises, to personal struggles, to finding my next right step, I'm glad these women reached out to me and encouraged me to focus honestly on my spiritual and personal growth.

As a side note, a lot of feminists resent the fact that 'God' is most often portrayed as/ deemed to be male but I've come to the conclusion that it really doesn't bug me. If God were female I'd have to ask.. the whole period thing, really? That was Her idea?

Personally, my jury is out on religion, that's not what this post is about really... but sitting through a full day of obligations enduring serious cramps really got me thinking.

Personal Space: Reverb10 12.01

2010-12-07T21:58:00.001-05:00

PROMPT: Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you?

REVOLT.

A lot of this year was an illustration of my need to rebel, where my youthful tendency toward it has taken me in adulthood and how the urge persists today. A lot of this year was a disgusting display of fear-based arrogance. I spent the months denying reality or over-indulging in the sadness doing so created. I was repelled by everything which continued this trend. Toward the end of this year situations occurred changing my life entirely which caused an ultimate logistical and emotional revolt.

For next year, I'd like either the word 'transformative' or 'illuminated'. I can certainly see it being the former.

Personal Space: the right to be snooty

2010-05-19T19:00:00.000-04:00

At work today some co-workers were discussing car prices and how unfathomable it is to pay such extravagant prices as you would for, say, a BMW. I never would. I pat my Kia Rio on the dash every time we make it to New Jersey and back and I'm fine with it... it's got personality. However, there are certain things, regardless of price or necessity, I find completely within the realm of acceptable snootiness:

strapless bras
eyebrow waxing
your preferred brand/style of sneakers (I am Converse hi-top Chuck Taylors all the way, my friend Caitlin sticks to Puma)

(those are my favorite pair, they're fuzzy, made of tennis ball material, if anyone knows if I could machine wash these -as mine are many years old and not that shade anymore- I'd really appreciate some insight!)

wherever you go for peace of mind
a good mattress
ice cream (I grew up on the boardwalk, yes, I'm snooty about ice cream)
I really should reinforce the need for a good strapless bra
your passion (should perhaps be 'intensity of devotion' over snootiness with this one)
what you want to name children/pets

I know this is a silly list but as I sit here with two shoddy strapless bras and the inability to wear a strapped one for about a week it's a nagging thought. What are you inexplicably or comically 'snooty' about?

Personal Space: I am my own guest blogger

2010-05-18T21:00:00.000-04:00

Since I didn't seek out a blogswap partner very well, I present you with myself, half a decade ago, at age 21, the closest entry I have to this time in May:

jukebox fuck up hanging round the drugstore

Jun. 8th, 2005 at 9:10 PM

I've been on a Smashing Pumpkins binge.
I have a new job and it kind of makes me want to throw up. My boss, talks to her clients like they're pets or houseplants and her phone voice is more of a high pitched barking.
Things have been uneventful, which is to be expected since I'm learning how to "be myself."
I realized tonight in therapy that I hardly know myself at all. What are some adjectives that describe me? I feel half empty because I am very lonely and am not satisfied with my life. I also know I am trying to improve things for myself. But it's hard not to fall back into (bad) old habits.
I would like to make social plans with (imaginary) friends that involve entertaining activities but I'm not sure where to find either - friends or entertaining activities.
Karla (my therapist) says going to Coffee Blue tomorrow for poetry night will help.

I need stimulation, mental and emotional. Over 30-year-old women with bad taste need not apply (I get enough of that at work).

*************************************************

My livejournal sits like a graveyard (c'mon, I had to say something emodramatic, ha). Oddly enough, I was in a very similar space of rebuilding. Everything is cyclical.

I need to write a to do list. To do lists on my phone are not condusive to my getting anything done.

Personal Space: friendship evolution

2010-05-17T23:07:00.000-04:00

It's been a very peculiar few weeks with regard to the people of this world whom I know:

This morning I saw my senior year Arts High teacher, Brent Popolizio, in a Bud Light Honey Wheat commercial.
I am currently talking to one of my oldest friends, Kent, whom I've talked to over the internet since I was 13 years old and have only met in person once.
I've been (wrongfully) indulging in high-school-fights with people whom I barely know because a year ago I was (under the impression I was) adored, now I'm despised. Oh to be villain on a webforum.
I haven't seen most of my 'friends' in this area in months and I'm trying to fix that. I'm out of touch with 'reality'.
My cousin is one of my closest friends and my little brother and I have been able to bridge a nine year age gap and become pretty tight.
I keep in very loose contact with my friends from high school but the one weekend I end up in Atlantic City a couple weeks ago they too are at the exact same hotel on the exact same night.

I love seeing how things evolve between people. What exists between two people will not be the same next year, or five years from now.

Social Analysis Minute: purity

2010-05-16T23:05:00.004-04:00

(Oil, scooped up with a bucket from the Gulf of Mexico off the side of the supply vessel Joe Griffin, coats the hands of an AP reporter at the site of the Deepwater Horizon oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico, May 10, 2010. AP Photo/Gerald Herbert)

"God only knows when your word isn't pure and the blood on your hands isn't yours."

I work in a news environment where for the past 5 days I've seen nonstop footage of the oil spill, earthquakes, cleaver killings, a father's heroism saving his child from a car ramming into a building, entertainers speaking about film projects like gospel.... working in Ingest lends itself to your becoming a product of visual consumption. A television sits in my room unplugged but I live in the ether between reality and transmitted media. Now, this may sound absolutely ridiculous but think of it in the way parents forget what it's like to have an adult conversation. A stay at home parent lives in a world of Wiggles, Dora and babytalk, they often say adult conversation is refreshingly foreign.

I saw a girl post on my brother's girlfriend's Faceboook, "I was just about to text you, let's go for a walk!" It would be the most foreign and amazingly welcome thing to go on a walk with someone. In fact, I have been invited to do a couple real life things, like grab coffee and the like, and it's been a refreshing change of pace.

Where has the purity of life gone? Linear, single-plane existence does not exist and, on a level, that's scary. How does one (one person, one community, one artform, one focus) stay true to itself in such an impure environment?

The Designery: We'll stay up 'til sunrise...

2010-05-15T21:08:00.000-04:00

FOX IN THE HENHOUSE EP

We’re in the middle of revamping the page so the only thing
that’s accessible is what’s most important: the music. Click here, listen to
the demos and fall in love. Look for the
EP out late this month. :)....

http://www.myspace.com/fintheh (Especially the song “Up” I kinda can’t get
it out of my head.)

SOWEBO FEST

“This year is the 25th Annual Sowebo Arts and Music
Festival! Our Silver Anniversary! The 2010 Sowebo Festival will be held on
Sunday, May 30th, surrounding historic Hollins Market in the bullseye of
Sowebo. “....

http://www.soweboarts.org/festival.html....

We’ll be having a table there so definitely come say Hi and
F in the H will be performing, you can’t miss that!

We want to see you there!

Last, but way more than least:

BOT SPOT:

Any questions, love or comments, get at us:

http://www.ibotrecords.com

http://www.twitter.com/ibotrecords

xoxo love and lyrics... iBOT Records

The Designery: Rilke was a greedy artist

2010-05-14T19:40:00.000-04:00

I once was asked if I'm a loner.
I think the arts are divided by this question. Fine artists and writers at home in their personal dungeons of creation. Actors and dancers in performances spaces with their ensembles. As a hobby I both act and write and I truly don't have an answer to the above question. I'm shy and struggle socially, however, am completely enthralled with the people I know and the social world. I have always admired writers more, personally, but have felt more at home when acting and being engaged with the stage.

How much does personal duality factor?
My resolution comes in the form of a Rainer Maria Rilke quote and my tendency toward early bedtimes and time alone. I am a very social person, but for the most part I exist within a tightly controlled cocoon of personal manifestation. Rilke says that's okay.. and as a greedy artist, he even encourages it:

...he who has a pact with aloneness can even now prepare the way for all of this that in the future may well be possible for many, and can build with hands less apt to err. Therefore, dear friend, embrace your solitude and love it. Endure the pain it causes, and try to sing out with it. For those near to you are distant, you say. That shows it is beginning to dawn around you; there is an expanse opening about you. And when your nearness becomes distant, then you have already expanded far; to being among the stars.

Personal Space: the great filtering

2010-05-13T19:36:00.000-04:00

So often I want to come to this blog and bitch. I'm struggling. Lonely and restructuring. Everything is in flux and I haven't been in this peculiar a spot in years, perhaps.
But no... I don't bitch. I craft clever concise sentences or sidestep the issues by linking you elsewhere. I nonchalantly write about a band or a social concept that parallels without divulging.
Tonight I'll be in bed before 8pm. Bed is better than bitching. And quite frankly, nothing is all that wrong. But sometimes when you're are stuck at a crossroads with no one to really, truly talk to, it makes you want to scream.

I'm enjoying a lot these days: Tegan and Sara's Sainthood, tons of Weezer, moving back to my rightful spot in Ingest at work, getting to visit New Jersey, fixing up my car. But restless teeters more towards frantic for me than finding any sort of resolve.

I'll keep looking, in the tomorrows and the to-dos.

Personal Space: we all feel confined sometimes

2010-05-12T22:05:00.000-04:00

A friend of mine wrote a really great short story that sharing today would truly make the best use of my blogtime. His writing style is clear and engaging. He is terse yet detailed and empathetic. He is abrasive yet endearing and it's why I've grown so fond of him as a person and as a writer.

Visions Through the Glass

You wake again and relieve yourself in a bucket at the far corner of the cell. You return to your corner and find next to your mush and water bowls something new—a pen and notepad. You pick up the notepad and revel in this new development. You click-click the pen and ruffle through the pages of the notepad and put the pen to the paper and write—
There is a hole in my bucket, dear Liza, dear Liza

We should always revel in new developments and acknowledge the mundane details that comprise our lives, without which we are nothing.
Laughing at work today with all of my co-workers was a really wonderful celebration of that.

Social Analysis Minute: baby this is natural

2010-05-11T20:28:00.002-04:00

An argument on what's natural:

ME: Since the ex and I had broken up by the time I got my period I never went on birth control.... I don't need extra hormones in my body... I'm straightening out the ones I've got going on.
Quite frankly I see it as really unnatural anyway. I've never been a fan and I've never been on any form for a very long period of time.

FRIEND: I don't think there's such a thing as "unnatural." Not everyone has the same amount of hormones running through their body "naturally."

In some degree, it is human nature to be inquisitive about their surroundings, discovering the physical principles by which they operate. It is human nature to exploit this knowledge to create technology and use it to further human ends. A wheel is as natural and technological as a pill. A pill furthers a human end, whether there are undesirable consequences that come forth from the use of the pill. Humans are natural; the creation of various things by humans is natural; the reactions between humans and their creations are natural. Humanity exists in nature and is a part of it; its creations are as well.

To say that something is natural is to say that this is the way things are when humans do not intervene. Yet, where there are humans, there are always humans intervening in some way, creating what would be called the unnatural. It is no such thing.

ME: My statement was based on your first. Our varying traits are what enabled evolution. We are utilizing technology to replace conventional evolution with scientific aptitude.
So what you are arguing is true now, but not in the past. Human intervention has lead to the making of human impotence, this odd chemical need to render us all of the same chemical makeup.
But if, to you, this technological frontier is 'natural' that's you (and a lot of other people) to me, I fight it like Farenheit 451 or BNW.

FRIEND: I prefer to argue not that something is natural or unnatural, but whether it is desirable or undesirable. I see human nature as being something with a lot of elasticity to it.

ME: Agreed.

Social Analysis Minute: He's just not that into direct contact

2010-05-10T21:31:00.000-04:00

I was going to write a blog last month about James Gunn's piece on animegao doller costumes. The aspect I found most interesting in Gunn's analysis was the notion that some men had become too uncomfortable with actual human interaction, they preferred intimacy on a more anonymous, unaccountable level, so as to now ever prefer sexual relatioships with a person dressed as a cartoon over an actual person.

As disturbing as that phenomenon is, it's rare. However, what is more alarmingly abundant is the tiers of lesser extreme emotional detachment: the proliferation and ease of anonymous, casual sex, the excessive number of ways to monitor, impact, and communicate within any form of relationship and at it's most confounding and immature, the side-swiping of vague romantic intent.

"It's like Tegan and Sara knew you ruined The Con for me so they gave me Sainthood."

"lol, you are absolutely and incredibly stupid. it makes me laugh pretty constantly. despite that, you're my favorite. and it kills me."

"sometimes when you look at me, I just know"

And don't even get me started on Formspring. What was once relegated to the realm of notes between girlfriends in Trigonometry then sappy diary entries on paper then livejournal are now being stated to everyone. It's the turning of thoughts into dialogue without directing the question at anyone.
Do you like me check yes or no can literally be posed to someone anonymously via Twitter or formspring and this is how people are choosing to sidestep face-to-face interaction? Are we that afraid and should communication really be this diluted?

Personal Space: on usefulness

2010-05-09T23:24:00.000-04:00

There should be more pictures like this. My mother accomplishes so much every week of her life.. but moments like this... with me in Maryland, Mickey off doing a million things and Mom busy feeding us, talking to me about life problems, putting out fires for work, helping the neighbors, doing about 10x more than I (and a lot of people I know) can accomplish in a week.... moments where we just get to smile, love each other and indulge in the happiness of being and having a family, do not happen nearly enough.

I love my mom, and step-mom and appreciate all mothers out there doing their very best to care for their children. It's one of the most honorable jobs there is.

Personal space: Chutes and freeways

2010-05-08T23:18:00.001-04:00

Woke up in College Park, MD. Drove to work in Springfield, VA. Stopped back home in College Park, MD. Found bird's nest in dryer, go back two loads of laundry. Get on the road. Stop in Columbia, MD to pick up items to transfer. Get back on road. Hit traffic in northern NJ, go back 2 months to when I first hit same traffic. Lame. Arrive at The Meat Locker in Nutley, NJ. Meet up with best friend to commence the goodtimes. You win!!
Sometime there just isn't a minute to blog in the game of life.

Personal Space: Course Correction

2010-05-07T17:58:00.000-04:00

Everyone knows my obsession with Flash Forward. It's been a great distraction from and rival to the confusion and direction-seeking of my real life. However, it never brought about much self-reflection until this most recent episode.

As cheesy as it sounds, I'm quite convinced I'm in a phase of course correction. I laugh just typing that but it's a fun way to look at the disorientation I've felt since the drastic redirection my life took last fall. I'm a planner, I had a clear plan, people were helping me put this plan into action. I called the whole thing to a jolting halt, literally and melodramatically changing the lives of myself and others. Now that all of that has calmed down I'm left wondering where exactly I'm "meant" to be and doing what?

I've also been reading "The Power to Visualize" in search of answers or new planning methods, ways to promote positive thinking. With such a wide span of interests and things I'd cite as passions, I have always chosen the dipping my feet in many pools method of experiencing life. This is in exact opposition to what this book is instructing. I don't have a clear picture of what I want in life. I want art, joy and people... obscenely unspecific. This most recent episode called into question the importance of said vision and if it really is where you're supposed to be. One decision could take you from where meant to be, an ideal, to something that simply pacifies you. How do we know if we're making the right choices? Or is there something I really just haven't figured out yet?
(Aside from the cheese-factor of Flash Forward, let it go, it's insanely fun to watch.. I don't harass you about Lost.)

Tell me,

Personal Space: nothing gold can stay

2010-05-06T21:20:00.001-04:00

Tropicana Resort & Casino: TropWorld: Tivoli Pier: one of the favorite places of my youth.
Being that it closed in 1995 it's been difficult to find web documentation of it and there was no finding a picture in my hour or so of searching.

NYTimes 1988 article on the opening of Tivoli Pier from a business perspective.
A webforum user who shares my loving nostalgia.
NY Daily News 1995 article right before it closed.

If I ever had DonaldTrump/BillGates money there is one frivolity I might have to indulge in - the rebuilding of my favorite ride from that indoor amusement park. You sat in an old boardwalk chair and it took you around an Atlantic City tunnel of love wherein 3-D structures housed holographic patrons and entities. The first room had a whole vintage boardwalk layout. Holograms rocked in boats, worked in shops, enjoyed the 'summer' to the tune of "Under the Boardwalk". Subsequent rooms had fireworks, a Miss America pageant display and so much more that is a shame I can't remember considering the number of times I'd ride around that thing with my unlimited pass wrist band. I'd just say, "I'd like to go again," and go back on through. The first room was clearly my favorite, the musical Ragtime reminded me of it as they were placed in the same decades.

There has been much Atlantic City bashing recently with my trip and others' and I just wanted to reflect on an aspect of AC that I absolutely cherish. The Tivoli Pier funhouse was endlessly entertaining with its green screen magic carpet, shadow capture photography, musical instrument wall and more. I'd kill hours while my grandfather gambled riding the roller coast, maneuvering model boats, and sitting in a moving chair - contentedly circling a diorama.

Blissful and colorful innocence.

**Special thanks to Collin for recalling the name of the pier with his amazing researching abilities**

Social Analysis Minute: thinking to living ratio

2010-05-05T23:20:00.000-04:00

I was in a bad place yesterday. That bad place being 2005. Knee-deep in memories of emotions, people and places that once were.. common. I find this happening to myself a lot. I get entirely too wrapped up in nostalgia or future-planning that I truly do lose grip on the present moment.
How do we best delegate our thought-time? There are four segments of this pie chart and I fear I'm horribly skewed in my mental meanderings:

Past.........................    32
Present....................     25
Future......................    28
Thoughtlessness........ 15

That's an off-the-cuff breakdown of where I think I go with my thoughts... Sadly, I worry that 'thoughtlessness' takes up a smaller percentage than that... I put weight to almost everything. Where is my lofty indulgence in the present living?
I think this ties in with why exercise is so important. Working up adrenaline and getting a "runners high" from any form of exercise is a form of "thoughtless mental escape" much in the way drug seekers seek out numbness.

How do you escape the weight of reality - former, future and current?
How do we not overindulge in the rehashing of what's past? Is there really a health and personal danger in 'bearing the weight of all the years'?

Yoga. Ice Cream. Spending time with others. Those are the most common answers I get to what distracts people, makes them instantly feel better with their present day. I really should get back into yoga. There's no time like the present.

Personal Space: parking lot philosophy

2010-05-04T19:32:00.000-04:00

"Lemme guess, University of Maryland?"
"Formerly!"
"You graduate?"
"Dropped out!" Being that he was black and loungin' outside the 'ghetto mall' (as it was known as in my actual college days) sippin' on a small MickeyD's cup and talkin' up some random white chick in a parking lot I thought he'd find that funny.
"Why?"
"I was partying too much."
"Man, I just partied my ass off and I got 10 more credits left to a medical degree. I got an internship across the street and another one over there.. You give up and you give up on you."
"That's a good point, man."
"I mean you can go off and get with someone who can give for you, give you some life you want but there's nothing like having your own."
You make a good point man, you take care."

After a day of fortune cookies, Cassadaga and job hunting it was a haunting conversation. I appreciated his conversation, no matter how it disconcerted me. We all hit a point, at times, where we reach a fork or are feeling stuck and I really enjoy when something completely uncontrollable, completely borne out of someone elses personal energy affects my life (being as controlling and solitary as I am). I may not have a final verdict on 'fate' but the energy of others is a force to be reckoned with.
(May the 4th be with you.)

Related reading: I'm off to read Amanda Hirsch's all-too-applicable blog entry of yesterday titled: Getting Unstuck that I am now off to indulge in.

Music Note: courage broken, lash to scar

2010-05-04T01:04:00.001-04:00

Coheed and Cambria has been a part of my life for eight years. Almost to the day, I was seeing them in a church basement in Philadelphia back in 2002 in complete awe. They have always existed on almost two planes for me: the untouchable, elusive-rock-star plane and the guys down the street in a rock band plane. It's a weird combination that leads to intimate shows in small venues and friendships across the country while being on a very well sold DVD. But with the music video for "Here We Are Juggernaut" I see them in a way I hadn't... their identity as a rock band is somewhat solidified for me with this video.
With no better way to describe it, it rocks:

For me it shows the real progression of them being garage-band sounding newcomers to their post-Neverender emergence as a truly formidable rock band. This could be on MTV, an MTV I'm not certain even exists anymore - that promotes musical outbursts by frequency of video plays. This could be something that breaks them into a more mainstream playing field. This could be the first music video I've legitimately been excited about in years.

Reminds me of the years I used to obsess over MTV and seeing certain music videos as much as possible. Two artist subjected to that, in fact, have new and more entertaining offerings than they've had in years. So my throwback honorable mentions are

Hanson
Seeing them as married men with children is just unreal. You sometimes don't see your own time pass until you see someone you 'knew so well' when you were younger.

and

Christina Aguilera... Perez Hilton's giving her a lot of flack for "cloning" Lady Gaga, but really there's only one shot that reminds me of Gags... the rest is so clearly Madonna. The entirety, however, is hot as hell and could really only be pulled off by Xtina.. my allegiance, obviously, lies with her.
I mean you really don't get much hotter...

The Designery: Blog 2010

2010-05-03T22:47:00.000-04:00

Alexandra Grabbe – Chezsven's Blog, Life as a green innkeeper on Outer Cape Cod

Alexis Neely – Life, Business and the Pursuit of Truth, A blog about the intersection

Alisa Bowman - Project Happily Ever After, Marriage advice from a recovering divorce daydreamer

Amanda Hirsch – Tastee Pudding, In the search for creative life, the proof is in the Pudding

Amy Kocur – AmyLizK, Maryland/ DC Metro area arts and analysis

Andrea M. Rotondo – Luxury Cruise Bible, Your source for unbiased luxury cruise reviews

Andrea Parker – Autism Fundraising Guide, For parents of children with autism

AndreaGenevieve – Andrea Genevieve, Where social medium, technology and higher education meet

Anjuli - bhulbhulaiyan, a complicated entanglement of zigzag pathways

Athena l. Borozon - The Desert Rat Dialogues

B.J. Keeton – Professor Beej, Pop culture commentary with an academic slant

Ben Bradley, Ben’s (Not Quite) First Ever Presence on the Interweb, Blog of an aspiring human being

Bernard Chung - Green Tea World, It's more than just a cup of green tea here

Beth VanHoose – Writing in Sand, My adventures in freelance writing, and other stuff

Beverly Burmeier - Going on Adventures, Travel stories from near and far

Bill Lascher – Lascher at Large, A contemplative, pondered and unrushed thought banquet.

Blake Thompson – Black Thompson daht Net, “I'm just saying..."

Brandi-Ann Uyemura – Brandi-Ann Uyemura, Rather be freelancing: tips for the beginning writer

Carey Rossi – Thank You Everything, Appreciate the little things

Caroline Clemmons - A Writer's Life, Writing tips, interviews and miscellaneous ramblings

Carson Brackney - Carson Brackney, Consultant, Copywriter, Content Provider, Factotum

Charles Newbery – Pine Tree Paradise, The life of a work-at-home writer and father of three

Christa Avampato - Christa in New York, Curating a Creative Life

Christianne Cook – A Day in My Mind, The world through my eyes

Cindy Elsberry - Doodle9, Paddling down the stream…of consciousness

Claire Splan – Alameda Garden, Gardening issues in the San Francisco Bay Area and beyond

Cocotte - Leaping into Life, Uncommon stories to nurture body, mind & soul

Courtney Koschel – Finding My Muse: A New Writer’s Journey,

Damaris Fish – Damaris Fish on Genealogy, Researching my family history and helping others with theirs

Dan Eldridge – Labor Party, A Young Pioneers Media blog for Creative and Alternative Entrepreneurs

Dana DuGan – Chick with a View, It's good to live on the edge. The view is better.

Danielle Buffardi* - Horrible Sanity, Going into the mind of a mother and freelancer

Danielle Carter – Live and Love Life VA, Helping you do more of what you love, and less of what you don't!

Diane Calhoun – Violet is My Color, Life just happens, deal with it

Dina Santorelli – Making Baby Grand, And I thought giving birth to real babies was hard...

Dylan Fogle – Discordianzen, The map is not the territory

Ed Pilolla – Ed Pilolla, What the f*** is love?

Elizabeth King Humphrey – The Write Elizabeth, Writing. Creativity. Play. Life.

Elyse Grau – My Garden to Table, Growing what you eat, eating what you grow

Eric Novinson – Costing a Green Future, A green business blog

Fiona Chan - Candy Prison, A typical teenager

Harry Marks – Curious Rat, Chewing at the tech industry's wires...nom nom nom...

Heather Faesy – Blame it on the Full Moon, My kids, writing and reading

Heather Frendo - Thrifty Knee Socks

Heather Minton – Stumbling into Grace, The adventure of following God and figuring it out in Portland

Jackie Dishner – Bike with Jackie, Using my special brand of BIKE to teach you how to turn obstacles into opportunities

Jan Udlock - Imperfect Mom

Jane Boursaw* - Film Gecko, Cool movie news and reviews

Jen Walker – My Morning Chocolate, Writing, experiments, culture and adventure in food

Jennie Phipps – WalletPop, AOL's personal finance blog

Jennifer Fink – Blogging Bout Boys, All about boys -- raising them, educating them, learning with them

Jennifer Willis – Jennifer Willis, Thoughts on religion, sustainability, media and culture

Jenny Lynes – Welcome to the Good Life, A student environmentalist exploring responsible, cheap, and fun living

Joan Lambert Bailey - PopcornHomestead, Gardening, place and my life in Tokyo

Joanne Mason – English Idioms, What they mean, how we use them, where they came from

Jodi Torpey – Western Gardeners, Your online guide to gardening in the West

Joy Choquette - One Year. 156 Fears. Life Changing. One woman tackles her fears

June Bell - Enough is enough! Advice and support

Karen Bannan - Natural as Possible Mom, Because natural isn't always possible — or easy

Kate Reilly – Polka Dot Suitcase, Family fun through creative living

Kathy Murray – Out and Employed, News, career advice and job resources for ex-offenders

Katie Foote – Littlefoote’s Lab, A chronicle of what the unemployed girl in NoPo is up to.

Katie Hinderer – Write Beyond the Cubicle, A freelance writer’s thoughts on the industry

Katie Jett Walls – One per Week, 52 posts on things that matter to me

Kim McNeill – Kim’s Play Place, An active parent trying to make sure my kids are educated

Kristie Sloan – mkBeautyZone, Skin care and makeup information training and products

Lacey Savage – Tips and WIPS, Talking about writing fiction

Lilac Penafiel – What Have You Learned Today, Life lessons learned everyday...

Lilian Schaer – Food and Farming Canada, A blog about the farming side of food

Lisa Jaffe Hubbell – Eat, Read and Be Harried, Making it through life one book at a time

Lisa Samalonis – Single Parent Savings

Margarita Tartakovsky – Self-ish, {Sorta} Sage Advice on Being a Better You

Mary Dixon Lebeau – In the Boom Boom Room, Remember staying out until the street lights came on?

Matthew Smith – Smidgen PC, Big news about tiny PCs

Melissa Sais – Digital Mom, Raising kids in a digital world

Meredith Resnick – The Writer’s [Inner] Journey, Bestselling authors, professional creatives and emerging voices in quirky dialogue about how they write and why it works

Michelle Rafter, WordCount, Freelancing in the digital age

Michelle Smith - Law Office of Michelle R. Smith, Because it’s your life, your family and your choice

Nancy Mann Jackson – Growing Food and Kids, Gardening, harvesting, cooking and preserving with kids in tow

Natasha Rogue – The Writing Blues, Little tips on how I find motivation to get past the difficulties of writing life and the road to publication

Paul Tullis – Grim Tidings- True/Slant, My rants about politics & policy

Pooja Lohana – Brown-eyed Mystic, On writing and more!

R. Jill Fink – My Opera, Musings about writing, food, weight loss and other hilarious things

Rachel Vidoni – East Coast Musings, A humorous look at kids, family and life

Rashida Williams – Really Rashida, Urban lit author blogging about my life and times

Rebecca I. Allen - 356 No More, A journey from couch to fit

Rebecca Robinson – Rebecca Robinson, Updates on freelance projects, reflections on journalism innovation in Portland and beyond, and brainstorms from the wee hours

Rebecca Weber – Newstilt SAfrica

Robert Janelle – Without an Apostrophe, Ottawa freelance tech journalist

Ron S. Doyle* – Blog Salad, All the blog that's fit to eat

Rose Medlock – RFM, Rose Flores Medlock

Sami – Stonerpreneur, Stoner antics as they relate to my business and personal growth

Sara Lancaster – No.2PenBlog, Resource for my clients and others interested in marketing communications

Sarah E. Ludwig – Parenting by Trial and Error, The learning curve in raising kids

Sarah Webb – Webb of Science, Connecting science and life

Sheena Brockington – Greenhouse Advertising, Cultivating ideas for small businesses

Shelley Clunie - ShelCluzo’s Blog, Healthy, wealthy and wise at 62

Stephanie Suesan Smith – Stephanie Suesan Smith PhD, Information Central

Sue Dickman – Life Divided, Food, garden, books . . . and India

Sue Poremba – I Breathe, Therefore I Write

Susan Weiner – Investment Writing, For investment and wealth managers who want to communicate more effectively with clients and prospects

Su-sieee! Mac – This and That. Here and There. Now, Sometimes Then., Rambling about anything and everything that interests me

t.a. barnhart - Left Coast Foodie, Damn, that's good: a foodie blog by someone who knows what he's doing

Tara Phillips – Two Hands and a Road Map

Teresa Mears – MiamiOntheCheap, Discounts, deals and free events in Miami

Thinkingtoohard – Thinking too hard, This is where I empty my head

Tracy Doerr – Tracy Doerr, A chronicle of ideas and things that inspire me

Tracy O'Connor – I Hate My Message Board, Humor, crankiness, a museum of snack foods and the odd motivational piece

Vanessa Richardson – Way Out West Texas, City girl from California moves to Way Out West Texas, what will happen?

Walter L. Johnson II – Georgia News Beat, An inside look at what’s happening in the state of Georgia

Wendy Korn Heppt – Budget Style on a Shoestring, Budget savvy fashion, beauty and related news and ideas

This is the most recent list of participants in Michelle V. Rafter's Blog2010, of which I'm proud to be a part of. Lately it's been hard for me to find motivation and to know I'm really working towards. Being part of this I thought would be a great way to focus, get a lot out of my mind this month, and have some accountability with at least this one, simple project. It's also really inspiring to check out this lot of blogs and have a window into a different world of wisdom.

Also, while I'm giving shout-outs, I'm heading over to AudioADD next to read my friend Jon LaBove's recent reviews of some recent musical offerings.

Music Note: mewithoutWeezer

2010-05-02T18:52:00.005-04:00

mewithoutYou
They're musically impressive, but I'd rather just listen to Bright Eyes. The frontman is at once off-putting and engaging (as many say of Conor Oberst as well). The rest of the band collectively sounds abundant and enchanting but individually appear detached and awkward. It's almost as if each person is performing his own song and it just so happens to sound great together. While they only remind me of Bright Eyes circa the "Lifted" tour with the plethora of musicians, the inaccessibility of the frontman and his warbling, pleading lyrics was what came off as strikingly comparable.

Weezer
Not too much in my life has been around for 15 years. In High School they were one of my first tastes of alternative and one of the few bands I was able to be a fan of from the start. In college they represented Andy and his friend Brian. They were really into Rivers' solo stuff at the time. It was hip to be latched onto Pinkerton and nothing else. After college I didn't really get the direction they were going in. Beverly Hills didn't make much sense to me. They were getting old. Eight years after college though their music has changed... in my reevaluation of the gloss of 'music celebrity' and personal ideals I see a sense of humor in them and a joy of life that people who write off everything post-Pinkerton really seem to miss.

(If you could see through Rivers' stomach you'd see my face)

I was 6 feet away from Brian Bell and Rivers Cuomo leaning back to back jamming on their guitars, fully into Troublemaker or Say it Ain't So or Why Bother? It was spirited. Their lifetimes bubbling up into their performances, my lifetime landmarked by one hour and 15minute set. I rushed to that barricade for Cheryl, Clyde, Allison and I... because there was no having Weezer any other way. It was a true indulgence of past and present of all of our moments. While at the same time, it was jumping in the moment, laughing at those trying to be cool (Beverly Hills), defying the thought of standards that need to be met (Pork n Beans), reveling in it all.

Weezer didn't give me an hour and a half, they gave me a lifetime re-cap.

The Borgata (Atlantic City, NJ)
(A COMPLETE aside from the Weezer experience) I have never experienced a more rude and uninviting hotel with weaker accommodations-for-the-price in my life. I vote NO... unless you're going to be at the barricade for Weezer,

Personal Space: Toll Road

2010-05-01T16:05:00.003-04:00

Ellicott City

Went to my God-daughters First Communion this morning. I spent the hour both watching a truly lovely ceremony and absorbing as much suburban family life as I could: the woman with a black eye and angry husband, the judgmental Italian woman with disheveled hair and large diamond earrings, the undisciplined tots galloping and yelping, the variety of diffused husbands... it was endearing and perplexing all at once. The love and community is absent in me and I want to submit to such an easy and fundamentally good way to garner hope and faith. But then there's the entire lack of follow through, the double standards in speaking and behavior and exclusivity and pretense. Regardless,
children full of hope, pure, blank slates makes me teary w joy so it was a really warm, fuzzy start to my day. And I'll always take an opportunity for a little reflection and repentance. Pray for us sinners..

Tydings Bridge (photo by moretown)

"Good Life" Weezer.. Driving to the Borgata in Atlantic City to see the quintessential alterna college band with the three people who once represented just that. My cousin, her husband -who then was her hip boyfriend who melted forks into fork sculptures at a fourth of July family picnic- and her best friend -who, with my cousin, embodied all of the 90s awesomeness of Winona and Jeanine dancing to My Sharona- and I... driving in the sunshine to a concert filled with joy, as always, my number one way to rack up faith and hope.

The Designery: serious sites for daydreams and doing..

2010-04-19T16:43:00.003-04:00

Recently the multi-talented Katie Walls wrote about The Spring Cure via ApartmentTherapy.com which excited me after my most recent bedroom feng shui attack. It inspired me to work on organizing both my space and my inspiration. Katie's blog is a great resource for her, and her readers, for things that keep her happy and at peace. Now that doesn't mean it's not serious business, the things you love should always be looked at seriously - along with the fun, the concentrated commitment is what brings these hobbies, ideas and fancies to fruition. In the confinement of paycheck-driven adulthood I worry I forget what I'm seriously comitted to. However, it's easy to recall, when I was little, I took two things very seriously: coloring and organizing.

Here are some sites I've found that cater to those very interests:

Doornob – new design ideas daily

Organizing my Barbie houses was always more fun than playing with the dolls themselves. All of the clothes needed to be organized properly. My books and tapes/CDs were always alphabetized and categorized. My clothing has gotten to the point of being separated by work/play then arranged by both sleeve-length and color. It's not obsessive-compulsive I just enjoy the organization. I'm sure you have some weird quirk you're laughing to yourself at over as you read this.

Dvice – live the future

This is just my dream house. And this site sort of cultivates the childish whim that 'anything is possible' which I appreciate and think is needed to keep life magical.

Colourlovers

Coloring was a very serious passtime for me as I was in constant competition with my older cousins, Marc and Cheryl, who are both great artists. I'd see Cheryl's paintings or color with Marc, who outlined the coloring book in hard-pressed, dark crayon then beautifully shaded the inside creating a far superior end result than anything I could accomplish with my Precious Moments or Fashion Girls coloring books. To young Amy, there was always a precedent to be met and I strived to reach it. In preparing myself for crayola excellence I organized my crayons much like the picture above. One of my favorite things was a fresh 64count box of crayolas, starting with the reds in the upper left corner and rainbow filing them down to silver/whites in the bottom left. Sometimes it really is the little things that make us happiest.

It's important to take those little joys seriously. They make the mundane worth it and even give it a splash of theoretical excitement. For Katie, what was a website step-by-step is now a happier home. For me, what was mountains of unfolded laundry is also an excuse to indulge in my childhood tendencies.

Music Note: Horn riffs on the offbeat

2010-04-10T19:15:00.001-04:00

If I had to declare my personal philosophy it might be Ska music.
Ska accomplishes something few genres can: it acknowledges and embraces the grit, tragedy and difficulty of life while simultaneously making you get outchyo seat and dance! It bellows laughter in the face of every adversary.
The sun has finally come out, it's Spring. It recalls my Skate and Surf days of old and I had to put on a song that closed more than one raucous set back in those days:

This song, done by this band in particular, signifies a lot for me: staying true to your roots, the need to grow and change, how we evolve yet stay the same in our inherent nature, avoiding hypocrisy and, ultimately, running in a circle pit in Asbury Park Convention Center at 18 without a care in the world.

There is a lot of unspoken controversy surrounding the evolution of Catch-22 to them and Streetlight Manifesto. How does one group of friends making awesome and fun music evolve into segregated
groups of friends making relatively equal awesome and fun music - even to the point of the above, a re-release of a Catch-22 album by Streetlight, a much better, denser version, in fact?
"The main difference here is that I try, try try...."

There is something to be said for breaking away from what is easy and carving your own path. I think Ska exemplifies that. I think Streetlight's strength in re-recording Keasby exemplifies that. And the people who chose to do so are better for it. Exemplifying is what listening to ska in the sunshine motivates me to do.. that and be snarky, cheeky and downright carbonated in my outlook and behavior.
(Not to mention, make a complete fool of myself dancing in my car while rocking out.)

Social Analysis Minute: Horrible Consciousness

2010-04-05T10:40:00.000-04:00

On my last date night with my now-ex we watched Dr. Horrible's Sing-a-long blog. It was hilarious (seriously, go watch it, you can finish reading this later) and actually kind of fitting but I won't spoil the ending by telling you why. A theme, though, might be the removal of conscious feelings to transcend the need for love, companionship – conquering demons and enemies to achieve a goal.

In an article recently published in New Scientist, Linda Geddes ponders the different rungs of consciousness, brought to light by various stages of dream-state. I suppose that's why you see so many drunks and stoners and adrenaline junkies – a "need" for a muted level of consciousness. When the body doesn't do it naturally (sleeping) or sufficiently (yoga, meditation) people put a chemical in place to numb the nerve-endings from tapping fully into reality. But what happens when all of that is removed, when you are wholly conscious? Questions. Loss. Fear. Hopefully hope. And, for some, faith. The former trio, however, is why people seek to destroy, to conquer – whether it be killing off arch-nemesis, banishing former flames from our memory, spitefully one-upping a person or situation that is holding you down, all the way to the extreme – slipping into a coma due to trauma.

This article says that some people are accessible even when comatose – it's human nature to want to pull through, we are a fighting species. But our coping mechanism has always been altered consciousness.

Consciousness hurts (don't get me wrong, it's also completely enthralling and amazing). We sleep to rest our weary brains. We sleep-walk, have night-terrors, because our affected synapses still fire. And, despite our best efforts in waking hours to be distracted and removed, our awareness always comes around to what we fear or are worried about the most. So I'm trying to cope with consciousness head-on (pun intended!)… I have a promising new internship and am really enjoying picking up the pace with this blog and my FT job is even turning around and getting better. I sometimes fear that I share Dr. Horrible's "PhD in horribleness" but there's always the option to deal with what hurts or haunts and see what's on the other side.

Personal Space: Bowling for babies

2010-03-27T08:20:00.014-04:00

It's really easy to be disgruntled. After being faced with a personal experience that is or feels like an attack it's only natural to carry bitterness with you. Everyone holds grudges, even while intending to forgive and forget. This sentiment was the most relatable part of Tim O'Brien's half-hour at the podium.

Celebrating the 20th anniversary of his novel The Things They Carried, O'Brien spoke at Politics and Prose (NW DC) this past Wednesday night. A friend recalled 14 years ago O'Brien had sounded condescending, off-putting. Almost knowingly, O'Brien accounted for this, explaining his bitterness after leaving the Vietnam war all those years ago, the stench of algae-infused death still in his lungs (his description). I appreciated his acknowledgement of his anger. However, in following that with a tale of his son happily pee-ing in a wicker wastebasket you could feel the softening of those hardened times that has come to him with age, it was endearing and pure.

Yesterday I ended up at Strike Bethesda for a few hours of bowling to celebrate a good friend's birthday. I was nervous and happy but mostly just appreciative of the fact that our friendship is coming around. A few years ago we had a falling out, a falling out that was perpetuated by mutual difficult attitudes and waking up too early. While we were always civil, I was certain this was the one friendship I wouldn't be able to salvage. It was the one friendship I gave up on. I laid her as scapegoat to much of my bitterness. In recent months, in salvaging another friendship and in realizing my anger, I have been chipping away at my bitterness.

Yesterday made our few year lapse feel like a blink. It was blatant proof of how much we've grown as people and over the past few weeks in catching up with her, I see that I like her more, I admire her again, seeing through my previous haze of self-pity. We're both strong-minded people with resolute self-awareness, an impression I got from O'Brien as well. It just serves well to note the personal growth that comes with time and experience, it's heartwarming and makes the harder times worth it as they lead to a more substantial outcome... because it's hard to explain war to children.

Personal Space: react, revise, repeat.

2010-03-21T07:56:00.010-04:00

Last Monday I had a performance review training session for work with Right Management. It was revitalizing and motivating, reminding me of basics I often forget with the big-picture, doing-amillion-things-at-once way I live my life. Make your goals more specific and measurable. Acknowledge both the corporate (big-picture) goal and your individual, daily goal; use one to work toward the other. I've been taking small steps since then, with regard to my personal output and it's very refreshing.
I still don't want to fold my laundry though.

Here are the things that have been making up my world lately:

Mediabistro presented a social media class, lead by Jhonica Reed (who is currently in Thailand, tweeting about it's glorious spas and rich culture). More than anything, it reinforced the ideology of you get out what you put into it. The internet, being this crazy-vast tool kit, is the current vehicle for the American Dream - you format your life as you are living it. So since then, I've been engulfed by Twitter, Foursquare, GoWalla, Mashable and, as an introspective benefit, where I'm taking myself, what I'm doing with my time and how I'm making use of this awe-inspiring world.
But first, I really need to keep working on my posture and reinforcing stretching more often.

Alice in Wonderland; specifically this dress:

From Miscellaneous

The movie was good, I knew I'd enjoy it. But what was really inspiring was how gorgeous the film is. The fashion, especially, was just so expressive yet refined, I couldn't help but spend most of the movie simply gawking at the design of it. The plot left a funny taste in my mouth as the ending seemed really contrived to promote a "don't settle for a man, find your individual calling" 'moral' (a great moral, but silly that it was pushed). However, it is absolutely a beautiful contemporary fairy tale and it bolstered my love of art and fashion ever-higher.
Interestingly enough, with how much money it's made, I haven't heard a lot of word-of-mouth feedback on it. Did you like it?

From Miscellaneous

I went to a yelp.com DIY night as part of Art Whino 's G40 art summit. It was a blast!! Good beats, awesome art, fun people and conversation – it was more engaging than DC's art-o-matic because you weren't just wandering and looking but it had the same feel. The whole event felt very accessible and the artwork was vibrant and inspiring. I'm going back this week to get the names of artists and to see more than the first floor (yes, it was all-too-easy to let three hours slip by on only one floor!). It involved me in DC's more-vibrant-than-expected art community and I got to make a really neat little vinyl toy that'll be on display… somewhere (I should find that out, heh) :

From My art

So from corporate goals and personal overhaul we come down to one little plastic toy.. and yes, it was that satisfying to sit down with some Sharpies for a few hours. The beauty of the internet and personal growth is that you really can go anywhere you want to so long as you stay motivated, focused and proactive.
My friend Erin, who's had her own business since I met her at 19 and is one of the happiest productive people I know, coincedentally posted this quote today prompting the theme of this entry:

The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day...I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our attitudes. - Charles Swindoll

Social Analysis Minute: Kids on Speed, Adults on dope Part I

2010-02-21T07:55:00.006-05:00

TIME magazine cover-storied over-medicating children back in 2003. In the most recent issue of New York Magazine (my usual favorite fluff-piece Spring Fashion issue) they reported on a parent being charged for second-degree murder for doing so.
1. What are parents doing to their children!?
2. What is going on in Florida? (Are mental health issues skewed to that region or should they really just stop having kids?)

This is not a "kids today" issue. Also, this is only a societal issue because of it's span, this evolution of childhood development stems from a root cause of BAD parenting.

Why has it fallen on the government to regulate food so that we re-learn what to feed our kids, to regulate video games/music/movies to know we're not distracting our kids with too much violence or porn, to tell children to GO OUT AND PLAY.

When did medication become the answer? Why are we allowing the Huxley-ification of our society? The way the NYmag article was written it sounds like we're nuetralizing our brains to cope with an excessively melodramatic environment while it is falling through the cracks that we have control over our personal environments We can regulate our brains and our lives without jumping to PILLS first. This is not to say mental illness is not a real concern that needs to be addressed with medication - they are two separate issues. It's about ease of results and loss of accountability.
When did "Just say NO" become "Just say YES to THESE"????

First few Google-search results:

Miami-Dade police have announced a review of policy after two kids were zapped with Tasers within a couple of weeks of each other. Tasers fire wire probes which hit suspects with a debilitating electric shock.

The first incident involved a six-year old boy who was Tasered at his elementary school. He had broken a picture and was threatening to cut his leg with the glass. Police defended the decision saying they were happy to talk about use of the Taser rather than talking about injuries the child could have done to himself. The boy's mother told CNN: "If there's three officers, it's nothing to tell a 6-year-old holding a glass, if you feel threatened, 'Hey, here's a piece of candy, hey, here's a toy. Let the glass go."

DANIA, Fla., June 16— A 6-year-old girl was killed today when she stepped in front of a train, telling two siblings and a cousin that she wanted "to become an angel and be with her mother." The girl was identified as Jackie Johnson; the authorities said her mother, Carla Johnson, had a terminal illness. Jackie's death was ruled a suicide.

Police don't accept suicide finding as cause of child's death
Crime and Justice Fri, 01/15/2010 - 1:20 pm Read 28214 Commented 35 Emailed 4
By Paul Daquilante

Updated Jan. 13, 2:30 p.m.

In a ruling that sent shock waves through the community, Deputy State Medical Examiner Dr. Clifford Nelson concluded that 6-year-old Samantha Kuberski, a Grandhaven Elementary School first-grader, committed suicide by hanging.

"It's not common, but basically, the investigation led to this conclusion," Nelson told the News-Register last week.

******************************************

And yes, this is a melodramatic splaying of the topic, but the issue at hand comes in varying degrees itself. Children seem more agressive and competitive and world-weary at too-young an age. So, no, your 7yo may not be 'suicidally depressed' but your inattention or your negative attention really is causing damage and parents should learn to check themselves before they wreck their kids, never mind their own mental wellbeing.

Or, perhaps, I should just stop watching Real Housewives of Orange County.

Music Note: Coheed and Cambria's new single "The Broken"

2010-02-09T14:06:00.007-05:00

Released last night at midnight to a frenzy of fans waiting patiently on Twitter, Facebook and Cobalt and Calcium, Coheed presented us with "The Broken". This IKSSE3 collage sound with a brand new fever of a more solid band than they've ever been is delighting us and most of us haven't stopped listening since.

A little taste of my fan-girldom, I present you with my reaction on Cobalt earlier:

OMG... I'm on my second listen -with headphones- and I'm like tearing up. Man can write some lyrics like no other..... and the complexity of the sound.
Last night I said it was 'busy' basically, an over-attempt perhaps... but oh man.... I needed to actually hear it (my netbook has shitty speakers, forgot about headphones till just now, heh)

Said he was 'talk-y' but really, some of these lines where he sings his voice is better than ever, melodically. I love how it's evolved over the years.
The "We are conspiring" line..... Ugh, Killer....
Yeah.... I really love this.

I'm gonna go ahead and watch all of Neverender today, heh.
These chimes in the background with double bass pedal are killing me.... CANNOT wait to see Chris again. <3

Personal Space: Textual discourse

2010-01-19T14:31:00.008-05:00

My adventure back into technology has included:
Lenovo netbook (white)
Google mytouch (white)
LinkedIn
Lucky Rewards
foursquare
tumblr (I need help with tumblr the most so if you have any tips/helpsites/advice please send it along! Thanks!)

In other news I'm slowly starting my novel (finally!). I want it done this year so I really need to be far less slow-going. I'm also blogging and writing in a physical journal more/again. As well, I'm trying to read more. I'm in the beginning of Water for Elephants and Plato and a Platypus Walk Into a Bar. These efforts along with my fun Franklin Covey calendar I have an adequate amount of physical writing and paper in my overly techno-gadgety life.

However, I'm currently listening to "A Hole in the World (Acoustic)" by Thursday off of Punk Goes Acoustic on the Pandora app on my phone. Seriously. Casette tapes!? RECORDS!?! What is the musical information on a record, how does it get there? The digital brain is confounded by analog.
But, the innovative-at-the-time concept of sharing the music you're listening to while typing in a blog a la Live Journal circa 2002 still holds incredible sentimentality and importance.

The Designery: The Textile Museum Contemporary Japanese Fashion

2010-01-17T08:47:00.012-05:00

The Textile Museum is showcasing American art dealer Mary Baskett's wardrobe selections from the Japanese designers:

Yohji Yamamoto (a Japanese-fashion founding-father and 'stickler for detail', with waist hugging, belted and ruffled jackets that I could imagine pulling in my ribcage)
Issey Miyake (the sculptor and technological innovator, with hairpieces that would easily mask my chopped mop and a draped ethereal dress that looks like mist)
Rei Kawakubo (my new favorite person, with safety pins and ruffles and deconstructed pieces) While Comme de Garcons is exceptionally well known in the fashion world, getting to read about the woman behind the fashion house was refresshing.

A self-made woman, Kawakubo was exceptionally driven to succeed with a very unique style. Her piecing together of hardware and soft, drapey pieces matches my own military-ballet hodgepodge I assemble for my own look. Her determination and unique frame of mind struck me as more relatable even. The dedication to the craft, however, is what makes Kawakubo and the other two artists excel.
The back rooms have textile samples on display, their Japanese translation, and where and how they got their name. My two favorites were Shimi Jimi (penetrating, evocative: deep green velvet rounds on patterned mixed fabric) and Zawa Zawa (clamorous, intense: geometric, color maze). There was a tremendous wealth of information that was presented most accessibly.
It was an inspirational afternoon (better than overspending or windowshopping) that proved Japanese fashion more enthralling and relevant than ever.

Music Note: Song of the Decade

2010-01-10T11:16:00.010-05:00

Jan00-Dec09 The Aughts
My official selection for song of the decade is "Such Great Heights" by the Postal Service.
By UPS.
By Iron & Wine and M&Ms.

The song had an impact in every possible demographic:
Indie kids loved it: Death Cab darling Ben Gibbard ditched his mopey lullabies for more hopeful, sparkley twee and 2003 was lit up by their debut album Give Up. Mainstream kids loved it: as the single "Such Great Heights" is played on Footlocker store TVs and MTV edits it into its programming bumpers, the pop-catchiness of the song can not be contained. Then, even the people who don't know it, love it: it's that song, that song on the commercial, with the lights or the fast pace, or the making me think of being better connected to my friends.

They will see us waving from such great heights. The American theme song for the Aughts, aloof, avoidant and trying to submerge ourselves so deep in the technological 'pretty' we've lost some contact with the ground we were supposed to be standing on.

In the flash of Google research I did no one seems to agree with me, other picks:

"Mr Brightside" by The Killers - AbsoluteRadio.co.uk
"Crazy" by Gnarls Barkley - Rolling Stone (RS listed "Such Great Heights" at #27)
"Hey Ya" by Outkast - PopEater

The only one I can see as an actual rival, chosen by a bunch of snoots who didn't even see merit in putting SGH into their's TOP FIFTY:

"B.O.B." by Outkast -Pitchfork

Music Note: Sad like winter leaves [Benton Falls]

2009-12-28T08:26:00.009-05:00

Back in 2003 I was a big Deep Elm junkie:

Last Days of April
The Appleseed Cast
Brandston
Planes Mistaken for Stars

But most of all... BENTON FALLS
definitely above and beyond my favorite. I had fought any urge this fall to put on Fighting Starlight for fear of indulging my old emo pining. This morning I couldn't help it. And as the guitars and Michael Richardson's voice swell I am overcome and I am glad I placated my wounded heart with burning questions, "Was I too eager? Or love you too much? I loved you too much!"
And the eternal, "You're sad like winter leaves."
It's the same principle of scream therapy, just in whiney, pleading, distressed question/ pondering form. It's oddly comforting.

The puddle of sorrow this band is steeped in is unparallel, but they stand there backed by gritty truth. Their follow-up to Fighting Starlight, more hopefully titled (perhaps) Guilt Beats Hate blares a sobriety and honesty void of the tear-jerking submersion of the former. They wrote intelligent, emotionally aware rock music… that just so happens to serve as the most perfect emo security blanket.

Moving on,

Amy Kocur
Defender of first/second wave emo since 2000.

Music Note: Get-Up Kids with Kevin Devine, Life and Times

2009-11-29T09:50:00.009-05:00

930 Club, alone, Tuesday, November 3rd.

The crowd was of my peers - jaded, former emos and a few douchey randoms to salt the mix. While one group waxed lyrical regarding Saves the Day's Through Being Cool (speaking of ten year anniversarys...) a couple of drunk collegiates shoved to the front to fawn over Kevin Devine. However, the night started with

The Life and Times

The second they played sounded quite Benton Falls-y which wooed me and made me wonder if 'classic emo' really is alive and well.

Alterna-pop-rock to the max.

Kevin Devine

Captivating.

Pop-folk at it's finest, one of the most sincere, emotional performances I've seen in a long time. I was even able to see through the obnoxious drunk girl in front of me, held by Devine's emoting.

His performance of Brother's Blood hooked me and carried me over a week until I bought the album.

The Get-Up Kids

Enthralling. As full of life, love and energy as when I saw them years ago. As always, they were joking around with each other, "James Dewees on the keyboards, ladies and gentlemen, James Dewees," Jim Suptik jokingly gets the crowd to clap for the noticeably drunk keyboard player. It was the resurgence of a feeling and time in my life that was cozy and introverted yet still bursting with excitement for the day.

We're loyal! Like brothers!

Matt Pryor vibrated with happiness and crooned with his undeniable mid-western charm. The sincerity of the band drips with every ping-ping-ping-ping leading into the swoon-worthy Mass Pike. I feel warm, at home. They play my song, "Oh Amy don't hate, for runnin away from you.."

I don't hate you. I won't ever worry. And when I doubt I'll look east.

Best part - they played new songs.

Social Analysis Minute: Modified Socialism

2009-11-11T13:44:00.003-05:00

Executive salary caps: Modified socialism?
(A mind-spew response to Psychology Today's suggestion for salary caps as a way to curtail the tendency toward immoral behavior when under the influence of large sums of money.)

The Theory:
Until the country is able to feed and house themselves, until we have more successful employment rates, you greedy bastards need to be held under supervision that will curtail your innate leaning towards overindulging in your company’s wealth. We need to keep you in check so the rest of us can catch up and fall in line. The leading by example tactic.

HOWEVER, if we were a nation spending our money more wisely – on food and housing, and not bar tabs and iPhones – would we be in this place to begin with. I have to believe that over half of those in poverty perhaps knowingly keep themselves their by mismanaging their money.
SO – perhaps you executives should be reigned in in a different way. Each high powered executive is matched with a poverty-stuck person or family and charged (an hourly rate calculated to amount up to these crazy bonuses we hear so much about) to lead these people out of financial ruin/ tax-money-consumption and into more prosperous middle-class, self-sufficient lives.
The economic big brother/ big sister program.

In order to fix anything we HAVE TO acknowledge the severe widening of the gap between the financial extremes and find a way to respectfully bring them closer together… without giving people things they don’t deserve and without curbing someone’s ambitions/ greed/ desire for wealth/ etc.
Is this possible?

Think Globally: We have greatness within us; it's time for the best in us to come out.

2009-06-04T07:29:00.004-04:00

Obama just delivered his speech at Cairo University. It was beautifully written and powerfully delivered as always, but it was the uncontained bursts of applause and the chanting of his name as he left the stage that really provoked me to blog about this at all.

I have friends and family who aren't very fond of Obama, from dislike all the way to the extreme of thinking he's the anti-Christ; which I didn't believe people actually felt until I heard the words come from my own Aunt's mouth. It's baffling that someone who speaks of ending the killing of innocents is seen as such a powerful negative force. He's not the savior. He's not the anti-Christ. But finally we have a person in power who is seeking positive change.

My point is: THIS WOULD NOT HAVE HAPPENED IF MCCAIN HAD WON.
We'd not be discussing the possibility of peaceful nations or ending torturous interrogations. The people of Cairo and everywhere else Obama has been greeted in a likewise uproar would not be behind America or of the belief that we are making positive strides to link our American people with the Global community. I can't say how or if things would be different on the home front and of course Obama's faults and mistakes will come to light and change will be slow. However, the above is all I kept thinking during his speech and it makes me proud that we have him representing our country.

Social Analysis Minute: What's your virtual reality/actual reality crossover percentage?

2009-05-24T08:08:00.007-04:00

There has been a lot of talk lately about memories as well as excited anticpation for upcoming events among the Cobalt community. Also, it's become completely undeniable what a large part of my current life these people are:

I go there for dating advice.
I go there for fitness motivation.
My summer vacation(s) are with these people.
They are the only people I talk to on a daily basis.
Many have or will be meeting my parents and 'actual reality' best friend.
I consistently talk about moving to another state to be closer to one or several of them.

A lot of people would see this as foolish and over-indulgent. A lot of people don't have a father and step-mother who met on one of the first MMORPG (I think that's the acronym?) - Neverwinter Nights on AOL and then they moved to Everquest. However, many people ARE looking to the internet more and more for dating partners, meet-up opportunities and, most ubiquitously, social networking.

My question is this: what is the socially acceptable percentage of internet/reality crossover? Math-brain tells me it would be in direct relation to geographic and social placement. Psychology-brain tells me we internerds may be telling ourselves it's better for ourselves than it actually is.

Music Note: Bamboozle 2009, better late than not at all.

2009-05-16T17:53:00.019-04:00

Okay so Bamboozle was two weeks ago which is a little late for a review in blog years, but, it's fully necessary. I witnessed a very small percent of what Bamboozle had to offer, however, I have to say I felt like one of the luckiest people in the crowd.

This festival started as Skate and Surf back in 2001 and has expanded exponentially, moving from Asbury Park Convention Center to the Meadowlands, three stages to over six, feeling like an assembly in the HS auditorium to a literal corporate carnival complete with ferris wheel. I had never been to the festival once it became Bamboozle, however, Edna's Goldfish and the Get Up Kids played and after years of being broken up it was something I had to attend. The soft spot in my heart for the Get Up Kids is like quicksand.

Navigation was surprisingly easy. It was fun to see people tailgaiting and promising against my original though that it would be all under-agers. No back-packs, no open containers, no familiar wrist-bands to be photo-copied at Kinkos - just a quick scan of my Ticketmaster print out and I was in. Engulfed in stands, hundreds of stands wanting my money, I bypassed them all - I can hardly tell you the shit they were hawking (a CAR raffle, what the fuck IS this?). I had a list of bands I wanted to see and that's all I was there to do:

CARTEL: I started to get nervous that all of my festival fears would be realized. I don't go to festivals because you can never really see the band, there's not enough energy with the people far back who refuse to push their way through, too much heat and social distress to warrant putting up with it in my opinion. From where I was standing it was hard to hear them but I kept telling myself to just forget my 'old scene grump' worries and just enjoy these bands I like. And that boy's voice resounds no matter what so it was pretty easy to start feeling it.

EDNA'S GOLDFISH: One of the two bands that made attending a requirement. I got into them right after they broke up, I never thought I'd see them live. I was automatically psyched because I got a prime spot right near the barricade and the two chicks near me were, to my happy surprise, there for EG as well, not waiting around until Bayside came on, which I feared. Pop-ska is absolutely one of my all-time favorite genres. Their set was 100x better than I expected. It was like they had never stopped (I imagine) still dancing around the stage, even though they are teachers and system administrators now, they had the energy and the excitement. I was elated. I knew more songs than I thought I would, I danced, I started doing that dumb pointing thing we all do at shows for lyrical emphasis. I was so thrilled as they ended with Veronica Sawyer, that song is one of the songs that can make me happy no matter what mood I'm in, and I was especially lucky to have seen it live after 8 years of thinking I never would.

BAYSIDE: As the crowd shifted between sets I got up to the barricade and made the decision just to stay there. There were no other bands important enough to risk not still being at the barricade when the Get-Up Kids went on. So I made the decision to stand there for the subsequent six hours.
That's all I have to say about the Bayside set, while singing along to some of the songs was fun and nostalgic, sorry, pretty over it.

BLOODHOUND GANG: I was also really excited to see BHG; knew they'd put on a good show. They did, and I can sum it up in four words: dance party vomit fest! I always forget what a good beat BHG brings so at the start of the set I was just dancing, enjoying the especially good looking members. Oh you want to take your shirt off Evil Jared Hasselhoff please do! (I evidently knew *nothing* about this band's stage show.)It started with Jared ripping his shirt off, running it under his crotch and throwing that out into the crowd, no problem. Then, it gets good... I mean gross.

EJH pulls out a tall glass, real tall glass, of beer to toast BHG ending their grudge with Jersey ("We all know Delaware is full of assholes!!" -cheers!-). He chugs the beer, throws some back up, drinks the puke and goes on playing. Okay, I can deal with that, I've seen Jackass... besides, they're playing the Vagina Song! And Jimmy Pop looks so frikkin' cute, even though his mic wasn't nearly loud enough. DJ Q-ball is totally adorable and I think it's smooth sailing. Nope. Jared has to puke again. They're getting ready for the grand finale, cuz Q-ball is spinning the beginning of Bad Touch, but Jimmy holds out his hat for Jared to puke in, which he does, which Jimmy then puts right back on his head, begginning the song. We're all cringing and singing along simultaneously, it was great. Jimmy comes to our side of the stage, damn he's cute, EW the puke ran down the side of his face and is all over the shoulder of his jacket, that's totally puke'. Then before the final round of chorus repeats Jared has to go again, so Jimmy holds out his hands for Jared to puke in, EJH let loose, streaming puke into Jimmy's hands, totally sick. They ended their set and we were all cringing and laughing hysterically. Too good. So memorable. Now that's a fuckin' band.

GAVIN ROSSDALE: I thought his set would be boring. It wasn't, for the fact that it was so mid-nineties. I knew one or two songs. But the part I really enjoyed was seeing the way he sang/growled/yelled and danced on stage; it was fully 1994. The way he shuffled back and forth on his feet, wore his chain wallet and sang about social disenchantment, it really made me miss watching My So-Called life. It gave me the appreciation for the experience of something I was too young to actually witness while it was going on.

NEW FOUND GLORY: This was a great addition to my 'throw-back lineup' as NFG would be the first 'show' I went to back in 2000 - my introduction to everyone knowing all the words, being feet away from the band and feeling part of a music community. They played Sincerely Me off their self-titled, which is the song that got me into them, that was icing on the cake. It was a really fun set... but it was also a bunch of teenage crowd-surfers smooshing my head/arms and reminding me how old I am.

THE GET UP KIDS: 'We're old... and we fuckin' like it!' They set up. Tiffa, the awesome chick I fatefully found also waiting all those hours to see the Get Up Kids, and I had been talking about it all day. She and I watched every minute of their set-up making comments on James' hat or weight loss. I was swooning over Matt Pryor. We saw Rob Pope in his suit jacket and tie and I felt the rush of OG emo goodness overwhelming me. I remember when being emo meant being the quietly dressed wallflower! Matt Pryor kissed his wife and son before he went on stage. Everything he does is perfect to me.

I don't remember the exact set list but the second song was Action and Action. I felt like there were only two people watching the band, Tiffa and I, not to sound overly romanticized - it's just we'd been standing there talking, waiting, all day... outside of our little circle of people the rest of the festival truly disappeared. Hearing Pryor sing Action and Action after all these years of reiterating the lyrics to myself through singing along and literal life lessons it just pulled at me, so much. They played Mass Pike which was my only taste of Matt Pryor slow song goodness, the "It's too late to turn your age around" jam from Guilt Show and closed with Ten Minutes - I figure because it was their big Emo Game song, heh.

The best part of the set: Matt says, "We only have two more songs." In the crowd, I say, "Play my song." Matt continues, "This next one is a really old song." He grabs his beer from the base of the drum kit and the rest of the guys follow suit, seemingly impromptu. Matt goes to sip but raises his beer and they all clink, James with water bottle in hand. They cheers, a toast to one last round of their legacy. It was one of the coolest things I've seen at a show. Then the chords begin, the first word I know, "And that's exactly what they DID!!" I yell to myself. Tiffa didn't know what I meant until they got to the chorus, "Oh Amy, don't hate me, for runnin away from you." It was Metuchen, it was Sarah Sterling and getting into alternative music, it was Jeff, it was feeling like the only person at Asbury Convention Center when they played Skate and Surf, it was how New Found Mass (2000) makes me cry. It was a moment in my life I can literally say I rejoiced. I took a moment to look back into the crowd, to make sure I wasn't the only one indulging in, excited by, attending to experience this moment. Sure enough there was a thick group front and center, arms raised, singing along, surely recalling younger days. It was worth the $100 I spent on the ticket, parking and the coupla cups of water and pretzel for that song and that half hour set.

JOURNEY: was the special guest, but I wandered off to get some air, see Third Eye Blind and realize how absolutely tired I was.

THIRD EYE BLIND: By that point I wasn't feelin' the festival anymore. I saw just how many people were there, how hot and tired I'd become, I didn't feel like watching this band, I'd already seen them anyway. But as I was walking away they started playing Motorcycle Drive-by which was the perfect night cap. It's the only song that could make all those hundreds (thousands?) of people feel like an intimate crowd. Everyone can find a piece of that song to own. It's beautiful. And for me, having attended Bamboozle solo, 25 years old feeling a modicum out of place, "I've never been so alone and I've never been so alive," as it tends to, for me, rang especially true.

Then I met up with my little brother by the ferris wheel, tried to find his friend by the stage Gwar was playing on ("Mark! You love Gwar!" - Empire Records, heh), left him there and drove home. Mickey and I talked his HS drama and it was a really nice end to the day, winding down with my little bro; that kid has become such a huge part of my life lately and it means the world that we have enough in common to bridge a 9 year gap. And essentially, that's what Bamboozle was all about, bridging the musical gaps: linking what was to what is and the music that connects us all.

DC Metro Area: UMD fails again.

2009-04-06T15:45:00.004-04:00

So as to not single out the University of Maryland, College Park, I will say that this has happened elsewhere and my reasons for hating UMD would probably stand for whichever 4-year state univeristy I had attended.

The opportunity to "engage students in a discussion about the national dialogue revolving around pornography" and responsible decision-making "got lost in the titillation revolving around the film's showing," a university statement said.

The entire point of how harmful pornography can be on a young person's mind (Ted Bundy, anyone?) will be missed so the Student Power Party can circle-jerk on how smart they are regarding 'free-speech', which, essentially has nothing to do with it.

Social Analysis Minute: An actor taking on too many roles.

2009-04-04T12:46:00.007-04:00

James Franco should not be playing Allen Ginsberg.
Franco looked impeccable as James Dean when he did that biopic; had that not yet been made it would undoubtedly be in the making now to assuredly bring in billions at the box office.
Are they trying to glamorize Ginsberg? That's fucking ridiculous.
I loathe this casting choice.
You can't monopolize iconic off-beats like that (Pun!). To me, at least, they are too different to be lumped together like that and thrown onto one actor. Homo-erotic distractions and drug-addled hallucinations are WAAAY different from father issues and a need for speed.

I'm not saying Franco won't do it justice, that's not just on him anyway. I'm arguing they're trying to pretty Ginsberg up for Hollywood and that is the real injustice.

The 1 minute of screen time David Cross garnered as Ginsberg in I'm Not There will out-Ginsberg and do more justice to the writer than this entire re-imagining of a biopic will.

And, see, I didn't even NEED to throw in the blatant physicality difference stating how much more Ginsberg-esque Cross looks than Franco... until now... to be snarky.

Music Note: It's the unifying experience... Sometimes.

2009-03-30T12:51:00.008-04:00

I just received my Coheed and Cambria Neverender DVD yesterday! Since I don't own a TV or DVD player I went through the 3 people I know here well enough to impose upon and asked if I could watch, at least the documentary, at his/her place.
I took my friend Lisa to Teaism for some dinner and then we went back to watch the doc on her snazzy Mac Laptop (since this IBM Think Pad I'm clunking on can't even do that).

I said I might have to go through her CDs because I feel like you can learn a lot about a person about their music collection. I try not to judge, but people are inherantly judgemental. Mostly I'm prejudice toward indie-kids in an attempt at reverse-snubbing, but such is my college-radio backlash. Lisa said she hated talking about music because of the above reason. I told her, "Don't worry, it's not like I've thrown out the Backstreet Boys CDs I used to listen to." Being ashamed of the bad music is denying who you are and, besides, I listen to enough good music to outweigh the cheesy. And sometimes cheesy is exactly what you need, did you read my entry on Breathe Carolina?

We watched the doc, it was beautifully made and edited. It is a really thorough and, more wonderfully, sentimental documentation of what the band went through. Some of the (current and former) members emotional moments were especially gracious for them to have shared with us, the fans.

This entry, however, is to document an e-mail exchange this morning, not our viewing experience:

Lisa to me:
okay, so apparently i am super unhip because i didn't know them. i asked jared if he had heard of them and he was like "um, what kind of a stupid fucking question is that?" apparently he was a big fan. i bragged on your behalf about you being in the documentary. he was duly impressed.

Me to Lisa:
Eeee!! That's really exciting that he's a fan.
It's not a matter of hip... IMO there's "scene" music and there's "hipster" music... the "scene" is for all intents and purposes one level below mainstream, on smaller labels that lead to majors, like what happened to coheed and "hipster" music is what I feel people at UMD's radio station insist you must listen to if you are to be deemed a worthwhile human being - 2 levels below mainstream on super small record labels/ diy labels or not signed at all. And of course there are genre/sound expectations that go w/ this as well.
I doubt you watch MTV2 or Fuse, play rock band/guitar hero and unless you went to a show of their between '02 and '05 you wouldn't really have known Coheed.
Coheed is between scene and mainstream so of course that super-skinny Jared had that reaction, hehe

Social Analysis Minute: Dating Gradient

2009-03-26T08:39:00.008-04:00

So you guys are together now.. like, a couple?
No.
Are you guys seeing each other?
Well, no not even that. It's more like we're just 'talking'.
Oh, so you're fuck buddies.
But we have a great time together and do non-sexual things too..."
What the fuck!?"

The question that spurred this entry is, "What's the difference between being in an 'open relationship' and being 'fuck-buddies? And, if those are the two levels you're striving towards how do you level-up to 'open relationship' when there is no defined relationship to begin with, or is the 'open relationship' solely available people who have previously maintained a 'closed relationship'?"
That was more like three questions - blatantly illustrating how complicated the whole interpersonal dance is we 'young adults' do.

Now, I didn't see He's Not That Into You but I'm sure I don't need to to understand how I could relate and what the basic concepts are. This is solely a comment on labels and how difficult it is to move between them when actual communication is at an all-time low, when external factors, such as the expansion of social networks, is at an all-time high.

How do two people connected through the internet know if they're falling for each other? Words... and actions, secondarily.
How do two people lying in bed with each other knows there's substance behind the physical? Frequency... and actions, secondarily.
Both scenarios are deceiving.
Effort is the only true thing dictating where on the dating gradient one falls... the effort towards reaching out to the other person, the effort towards putting more affection towards one person than others, the effort towards compromise.

The universe works on a math equation
That never even ever really even is any end
Infinity spirals out creation
Were on the tip of its tongue, and it is saying
We aint sure where you stand
You aint machines and you aint land
And the plants and the animals, they are linked
And the plants and the animals eat each other

EDIT - Two points I thought should be added:
1. From my comments: I think we use the labels as some kind of [false] safety net that he/she won't abandon the 'relationship' and to estimate the degree of commitment.
2. I am single, if anyone should like to convolute some 'dating labels' with me. ;)

Think Globally: Cloudr.me intro video

2009-03-08T23:58:00.004-04:00

túrána hott kurdís by hasta la otra méxico! from Till Credner on Vimeo.

To me, it is quite intense.

Social Analysis Minute: the inevitable LOM

2009-03-03T07:38:00.007-05:00

You have to write a pro/con English 101 evaluation of one of the following topics:
- the right to have an abortion
- the death penalty
- the legalization of marijana (LOM)

Been lookin at this fuckin' prompt for the past decade of my life.
I've always held certain beliefs:
1. Smoking pot is far less dangerous than drinking alcohol.
2. With regard to alcohol vs. marijuana and their respective legality, if one is illegal, the other should be too.
3. I would rather have my child smoking pot than getting drunk.

However, I don't know that the LOM is really the answer. I can't speak on the Mexican drug cartel issue - all I know about that I've seen in episodes of Weeds. But I do know that weed can be just as addictive as alcohol and both can be crippling in terms of being the person you want to be and leading a life you want to lead.

Is Obama sending mixed messages? This is the time to act AND 'wellll, if you have a doctor's note don't worry about it, sit back and smoke a joint' ? Of course this is not his intention BUT - how many kids fake stomach cramps to get out of gym class? How easy has it become to get a med.marij. script? And how obvious is it that the current generation has a laziness bent? If it can't be accomplished via a 1-2-website, no one wants to be bothered, how will the LOM curtail this tendency and lend itself to Obama's hope for volunteerism?

DC Metro Area: Woman about town.

2009-02-27T09:35:00.009-05:00

With Best of DC voting underway I figured I'd announce that I finally have some 'places I like' in DC:

1. 930 Club: It's a great venue - not too big, not too small, diverse show roster, reasonable prices, the only drawback is the fee on the ATM machine downstairs (not their fault) and their wishy-washiness on rule-bending/security.
Then again I do find it amusing that it's possible to drink underage (so long as it's George Clinton and P-funk), get kicked out for chucking a mostly-empty small cup of water into the crowd at a pop-punk show, smoke pot in the dressing rooms so long as you're with the band but get kicked out if you've got pot when you're not with the band. Oh silly double-standards.

2. My gym: Vida. It's beautiful, motivating, relaxing and enticing. It literally becomes a place you can't get enough of!

3. The Red Derby: a bar with some tasty food options, board games and a cute bartender with excellent taste in music. He played both Girl Talk and Eve 6, we're obviously meant to be.

4. Source Theater: home of Washington Improv Theater. It's a really cute space and I'm always happy when I'm there. Improv has that effect on people... then again, so does naming your current improve competition the Fighting Improv Smackdown Tournament ('cuz everyone wants to FIST, right?')....

5. National Gallery of Art: Breathtaking.

6. Flashpoint: One of the most creative organizations I've been involved with: innovative, accessible and highly admirable with an awesome array of contemporary art.

7. The bookstore I went to once in Adam's Morgan... getting back there is definitely on the to-do list.

8. Busboys & Poets: because I actually enjoy eating there alone. Even when I spill my glass of water in front of a cute waiter.

Honorable mentions: The Black Cat, DC Improv and Halo (for ladies night).

I'd like to find more of the smaller gallerys/venues and shops for clothes, art and music... but there seems to never be enough time to wander.

Music note: Breathe Carolina and a decade of Clarity

2009-02-27T07:29:00.009-05:00

Sunday 02.22.09
Take Action Tour @ 930 Club - Promoting dosomething.org, an excellent organization to promote to this tour's demographic. I really hope some kids get out there after these shows and put some time and effort into helping their community. Nothing pumps us up more than music and I hope it can be conveyed that helping our world can pump you up just as much.
/PSA

I went there to see Breathe Carolina. It's been a while since I went to a show alone but, as always, it reminded me why I'm so invested in music. Seeing people so excited for a performance, feeling the sense of community a good show can bring, sensing the self-consciousness of all the youngin's it definitely takes me back. I could never be a bitter, old scene kid (yet?)... I'm still at the front of the room dancing and singing along.

In total I only saw the end of the second act's set, BC and the beginning of Meg and Dia but without a doubt Breathe Carolina was worth the $16. Rave lighting, 90s throwback dance music interludes and their irresistable beats. I know it's cheesy but so much of me loves 'cheesy'.

The only drawback was, mid-set, I noticed the kid who does the screaming didn't look like he was exerting himself, specifically during the song "Show Me Yours" where he has a lot of intermittant screams.... I wondered if they were using a back track. During the awesome breakdown he jumped into the crowd to do his, "Let goooo!!!" bit and I was wondering if the crowd would notice. I don't think the crowd cared.

After their set kids were screaming for an encore, it's a damn rarity, if it ever happens that you hear the crowd calling for an encore from an opening act, especially the third on a five band roster. Overall it was a super fun, ultra-energetic set and I hope they get a headlining gig in the future. Meg and Dia killed the energy, for me, so I left after that.

Monday 02.24.09
Jimmy Eat World: Clarity 2009 tour @ 930 Club
I attended the show with my friends Mike Maguire, John DeSpirito and his girlfriend Sarah. I haven't seen Mike and John in years so it really deepened the nostalgia of the already overwhelming time-span of this show. Reuben's Accomplice opened the night with some really nice, thoughtful, mellow rock. It got me in the mood for my emo roots and I really couldn't beleive I was about to see one of my quintessential college albums played out before me.

They played the album mostly in order, but most importantly, opened with "Table For Glasses" which did everything to submerge me in the past and present moments. It was a really incredible way to mentally work through my recent past, my thoughts for the future and to get to experience and amazing album firsthand.

The encore was a couple oldies and their recent hits. They closed with "Sweetness" which, for me, was a perfect way to close, because despite all of their troubled times, personal difficulties and intense lyrics, at the core they are hopeful and see the beauty in life and that is one of my favorite things about Jimmy Eat World.

Social Analysis Minute: the period.

2009-02-21T16:11:00.005-05:00

I think a lot of the stigma in our culture w/ using pads and the period in general is the increased concept of needing to 'groom for men/women'. The Brazilian wax becoming very popular, the whole butt waxing/bleaching/babywiping phenomenon - these are contemporary obsessions as of around 30 years (retro porn: full of bush). Women are more groomed to be new-millenium-porn-ready than ever and it's at a cost: the scent of our blood and, less grossly, our pheremones/hormones caught in our vag/pubic hair is what attracts men/women to women and because of this trend we're eliminating a lot of that scent production/retention. Hence more divorces, the matchmaking boom and, I would wager, more body-anxiety for the female herself.

Personal Space: Some notes on food:

2009-02-18T17:17:00.008-05:00

1. Chef Boyardee makes me want to hurl. No longer is it the delightfully naughty treat I made my dad buy for me on weekends away from mom. It's more like something you'd make with a Play'doh Fun Factory. Blech.

2. Kashi Strawberry flax waffles are delicious. I've been raving about them for days.

3. I'm not eating enough. This is my biggest problem when I try to "get healthy" (whatever that means). I refuse to cook so finding plans online is damn near impossible and not overdoing it on the carbs or dairy ends up being really tough.
My weekly grocery shopping consisted of:
yogurt
oatmeal
spinach
tomatos
blueberrys
vegetable juice (low sodium)
veggie burgers
all-natural, omega-3 peanut butter (not as gross as it sounds)
whole wheat bread
apple sauce

I don't want to keep eating so many microwaveable things but I'm out of ideas. Big salads for dinner might be a good path, chickpeas, dried cranberries, etc. and then load up on the carbs/ calories earlier in the day. Good thing I wrote that down. I just might follow it one day.
(Editor's note - that ChefBoyardee was from an over-the-weekend pms-induced compulsion to buy pregnancy-random foods at 7-11, bad call.)

4. I'm really starting to enjoy eating organic, a lot of the foods just taste better. The cheese, however, does not. At least the low fat cheddar certainly gave me the worst aftertaste ever, too iron-y, too straight from the source or something, ick.
But organic blueberries and applesauce and others are just amazing.

Social Analysis Minute: On conveying identity...

2009-01-31T18:17:00.007-05:00

1. The first two ads in the February issue of Vogue are for Louis Vuitton and subsequently Chanel. In the LV you see Madonna, legs spread eagle, sporting fishnets and bangles, recalling her stylistic roots. For Chanel you have Heidi Mount (trashed the mag, she was the most recent face for Chanel I could find) who is only about to be 22 in April. The model (whomever), obviously in her early twenties, is dressed in a black and white, demure, tweed Chanel skirt suit gazing flatly out a window.
Somewhere between Rosanne and The Real Housewives of Orange County a switch got flipped. We've all come down with a case of theBenjaminButton, at least with regard to how families are portrayed on TV.

2. I noticed over the past weekend, in going from sitting on my father's couch watching The City to Rachel's house (The Bloomfield, NJ House of Hipsters) up north the vast difference in the various social ladders we climb. Personally, I know I ride multiple trying to be relevant to the my professional world, the DC scene, the NJ music 'in-crowd' and most recently Cobalt.
I guarantee friends of mine would argue they don't subscribe to social scenes but everyone does, whether incidentally or on purpose. But which is more authentic - to go for what you want or to just accept where you happen to fall?

3. And now for the Chinese Calendar portion of our show: Happy Chinese Year of the Ox! We're all super motivated and going full steam ahead and it has absolutely nothing to do with our true internal motivation! I'm kidding. Sort of. "The emphasis in the Year of the Ox will be on effort and commitment in every area of our lives," writes my Feng Shui teacher Eileen Weklar. I see it everywhere - in Lisa's applying for jobs, the other Lisa's buying a house, Zach's study of Buddhism, mine and Caitlin's aims for sobriety and my overall determination to take strides toward commitment - Every year I write about "figuring things out", that's a bullshit statement. Instead I want to devote my time, effort and energy to one or two things and see how far I can take it. Studying art, writing more and learning about career paths/opportunities are at the top of my list. I should narrow that down to two.

Personal Space: This Christmas has officially been rained out.

2008-12-24T07:31:00.005-05:00

1. Yesterday I was thrilled that we had yet to be hit by snow as much of the rest of the country had been, then, an enormous water main broke in Bethesda causing mass chaos. Environmental chaos/calmness continues to supplement my personal timeline.

2. My funds are being drained by some fraudulant dick who has my laptop... Happy Holiday homeboy, congrats on your shitty taste in rap music. Luckily, I froze my account but it's damn near impossible to get anyone on the phone to verbally abuse and have correct the matter.

3. I found a new place to live. It's the gorgeous master bedroom of a brand new townhouse. I have my own full bathroom, huge closet and nothing says a fresh start for the new year like packing up all your shit, leaving your emotional clutter and bad feng shui choices behind and moving into a new place.

4. I think the past 2 years were a projected familial delusion for both Phil's and my own benefit and being single and detached from the fam, I see the whole thing completely differently.

Personal Space: Lessons in Identity Theft

2008-12-23T09:39:00.004-05:00

1. If you are looking for Amy Kelly's blog, please go here: Amy Kelly's blog.
(Not intentionally comedic, she graciously gave me the amylizk.blogspot.com URL)

2. Speaking with Apple Customer Care does not guarantee anything has actually been taken care of despite their claims of changing your password, closing your account, etcetera.

3. When speaking with companies/industries with over 200-500 employees/customers/clients (the cops, Dell, Best Buy) do not expect anything to actually be done for you until about the fourth or fifth phone call or, better yet, until you show up in person.

4. Know about LoJack for your laptop before your laptop is stolen.

5. As much as you're not going to want to your first move should always be to change banks and credit cards as soon as something like a wallet or laptop is stolen. I know this should be common sense but when the "maybe I'll get it back" delusion is still there it might not be your first move.

Final summation: I will be spending the second week in a row on the phone with the cops, Apple, Dell and heading over to Best Buy.

Personal space: If I known things would no longer be I would have tried to remember them better

2008-12-18T11:00:00.011-05:00

THE AUGHTS - a timeline

Jan00 - Aug01: Metuchen, NJ (Mom's); Metuchen HS (student); Middlesex County Arts HS (Theater student)

Aug01 - May02: College Park, MD (Elkton Hall); University of Maryland College Park(student)

May02 - Aug02: Metuchen (Mom's); Pfizer, Inc. (Intern)

Aug02 - May03: College Park(48th Place house); UMDCP (student); E.J.'s Landing (waitress)

May03 - Aug05: Point Pleasant Beach, NJ (Dad's); Capri Institute of Cosmetology (student); ImprovJam Comedy Labs (improv student); Salon du Monde, Milagro Spa, Salon Concrete, Stefanina's (salon receptionist/ assistant)

Aug05 - Dec06: Metuchen (Mom's); Middlesex County College (student); Amy Kurman, Esq.(legal secretary); As Bees in Honey Drown (actor)

Dec06 - Sept07: Silver Spring, MD (Westchester West apt.); University of Maryland University College (student); UMDCP (student); DC Improv (improv student); Christian, Ashin & Brown, P.A.(legal secretary); TEAM Broadcasting, Inc. (Intake Technician)

Sept07 - Dec07: Hyattsville, MD (Adelphi house); UMDCP (student); DC Improv (student); TEAM Broadcasting, Inc. (Intake Technician)

Jan08 - May08: Hyattsville; Montgomery College (student); TEAM Broadcasting, Inc. (Intake Technician); Washington Improv Theater/WIT (volunteer)

May08 - Sept08: Hyattsville; UMUC (student); WIT (student/volunteer); TEAM Broadcasting, Inc. (Intake Technician); 5,6,7,8 Improv (actor); DC Fringe Festival (actor)

Oct08 - Dec08: Hyattsville; TEAM Broadcasting, Inc. (Intake Technician); Cobalt (Neverender)

Jan09 - Dec09: College Park, MD (Caddo house); TEAM Broadcasting, Inc. (Intake Technician); NY Comic Con (attendee); Cobalt (Maycation, cross-country Montana trip, Cali trip)